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Voices in my head telling me to run because it ain’t your time to die tonight.
I’m sweating and out of breath. Don’t know which way to go just know I have to keep moving like the wind.
Standing in unfamiliar places and staring at the darkness that’s before me. I forge ahead not knowing if I will emerge from the other side. Feeling my way I can’t see my hand in front of my face. My heart is racing, my breath is short and quick. Is this fear or has death found me here in the hour of midnight? Voices in my head say it’s not death but adrenaline pumping through your veins. Run.
I keep moving until I see the light and I burst through like a crack of sunlight through a bedroom curtain. I am the dawn. I am the light. I stand here with life coursing through my body shaken but not defeated. Rejuvenated from my experience, thankful to be alive and thankful for the voices in my head that led me through the night and back home to you.

Written By: Larry D. Miller

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Domestic Violence Against Men

 

 

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When we think of domestic violence with usually assume the victim is female.

 

  • According to the CDC, one in seven adult men in the U.S. will become a victim of domestic violence by an intimate partner during his lifetime. That’s upwards of three million or more male domestic violence victims every year, or one man in America abused by an intimate or domestic partner every 37.8 seconds.

 

 

  • Why does domestic violence  against men go unreported?

 

Some men are ashamed to admit that they are victims and in other cases some feel victimized again when their is a lack of police response.

From the huffington Post: According to one recent study, 83 percent of victims who had an attorney help them file a restraining order successfully obtained one, compared to approximately 30 percent of victims who went it alone.

 

 

  • Men are considered weak

 

A man is not supposed to be a controlled physically by a woman.

This stigma often prevents them from not only leaving an abusive relationship but from acknowledging it to anyone. As mentioned before some may feel ashamed.

This often plays a role in the violence going unreported by men.

Abuse is not always physical. There is emotional and verbal abuse as well.

 

 

  • Does our upbringing play a role in our ability to have successful relationships?

 

 

From the book Navigating Relationships- Managing the Ups and Downs

“Men are raised by the images set before them as boys.
Those images may not have always been positive. Some may have been negative.
The important factor is to learn from those examples and then using that knowledge to weigh the good and the bad.  It’s about having the confidence and wisdom to make the right choices.

Early generations of the male bloodlines were taught that displays of emotions like crying or whining were signs of weakness and that only girl’s cry.

They were told to suck it up or shake it off and keep moving along.”

For many this trait is carried through their teen to adult years. It should not be surprising that men of this nature experience difficulties in relationships.

Abuse is something that is said can be passed down from one generation to the next. It said that we are products of our environment.

If you were treated poorly by your mother in some way then that has a tendency affect a man’s behavior. Let’s say your mother was a strong disciplinarian and not very affectionate or she talked to you negatively the majority of the time.

At some point you may succumb to the notion that this is how women communicate. You cope by numbing your emotions and suppressing your feelings.

Communication between parents is vital to our upbringing. It is what gives us our first impression of the relationship between men and women.

We have come to know that the interaction between mother and father and the roles they play are very key to a child’s upbringing. In the case of boys they watch how their mother responds to their father. In a relationship where the mother appears more dominate may over time make for a lasting  impression as to what his role should be in his own relationship.

This type of impression could be a key factor in the person he picks as a partner and the role he will play in that relationship. You may find that you are submissive to her behavior by overlooking the way she treats you. This may be because of what you learned from your father’s behavior.

For example let’s say mom would react when angry by throwing things, using foul language or hurling insults at your dad in or out of his presence. In some situations women have be known to become physical by slapping, grabbing or pushing their mate. It may have looked to you like he accepted this behavior as normal by doing nothing to try and stop it.

For a long time society made it seem acceptable for a women to do these things.

Many of us may not have given it that much thought at the time but this is exactly what domestic violence looks like yet was often accepted because it’s being done to a male.

 

Signs that you are in an abusive relationship

I’m sure you have heard another female say to her female friend “girl you should have slapped his ass.”

Damaging a man’s car or his clothes is a tactic done by abusers.

Here is a checklist for signs of that you may be victim of domestic violence

 

  • Tells you that you can never do anything right
  • Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
  • Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
  • Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs
  • Controls every penny spent in the household
  • Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
  • Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
  • Checks your phone,emails social media pages
  • Tries to manipulate you into decisions
  • Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
  • Discourages your goals
  • Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
  • Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
  • Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
  • Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol

 

Where to turn for help

 

  • Family-Friends
  • Church pastor
  • Law Enforcement
  • Support services- The Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) thehotline.org
  • Counseling/therapy

 

 

Self Care

It is most important that we take care of ourselves and one way to do that when it comes to relationships is to not lose your self respect.

At the first sign of abusive behavior you should acknowledge it to yourself and then to the person that perpetrated the abuse.

No relationship is worth your safety or your ability to live a happy life.

 

Principles of a man- a poem

Lifetime – (Principles of a man)

Without lies or inhibitions tell me you love me.

Hold me like you accept me as your equal and not your subordinate.

Trust me to hold your secrets as if they were my own.

Kiss me with a lover’s intent and not a pretender of love.

Make love to me with the art of seduction and unbridled passion

not simply as a duty to be performed.

Give unto me these things and I will give unto you my heart, my soul and my spirit to carry with you throughout a lifetime.

 

                                               Written By:

                                                   Larry D. Miller

 

Sweet Life

 

 

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Sweet life long, long time ago. You and I taking on the world, I was you boy and you were my girl. We were gonna do it all. We had such big plans graduated from college joined in matrimony walking off hand in hand. Sweet life. Such a sweet life long ,long time ago.

La-la-la We were so in love don’t cha know. Nothing could stop us. We were invincible.

Oh but how were we to know our road was paved with potholes.

We hit a few along the way ,mended our wounds and moved on to another day. Sunshine blue skies gave way to darken days. It seems the stars were misaligned and we began to go separate ways.

Distance can prove fatal to any relationship. We grew miles apart though we were together everyday.

Sweet life, we had a sweet life long, long time ago. I wish we could go back and take this pain away. Don’t you want to go? Go back to yesterday when all we needed was each other and love guided our way. Let’s go back baby and find what we once had.

I know we can make it.  Let’s get a brand new plan. Stay here, stay here baby. Don’t let this love slip away. Sweet life, sweet life. You and I side by side. I got your back and you got mine.

Let’s fall back in love. You close your eyes and I’ll close mine. Now count to three open what do you see. You and me. Just like how it used to be. Sweet life. Oh what a sweet life.

I’m your husband and you’re my wife. Forever and ever right here in the sweet life.

Somehow love finds a way.

For those of you going through stormy times and chaos is all around. Hold on to each other breathe deep and don’t lose site of what you have. The feelings you share. Love for one another should not be your cross to bare. It is indeed a gift from the heavens above, cherish it and the reward will be great. 

 

Written By: Larry D. Miller

 

This Is What It Feels Like

Every time that I see you, you’ve got me anticipating your sensual touch. You don’t have to say nothing cause your body’s transmitting that you want to make love. Baby come closer.
I want to feel that emotion.
I want to taste those soft moist lips.I want to feel the tip of your tongue and the pheromones we produce. Your kisses send vibrations up and down my spine. You got my senses tingling from my head down to my toes. I’m like a time bomb about to explode. As
we lay and our bodies become entwined our minds are insync. We know our pleasure zones and we explore them to the deep. I feel you shiver while at the same time your ocean starts to flow. Your hips act as waves crashing against me and carry me away from shore. Your current rocks me ever so peacefully.
We lay in eachothers arms and I hear you sigh softly. Your nose nuzzles just under my chin resting on my neck. You kiss me there oh so softly. This is bliss. This is what ecstasy feels like.
I’m comforted by the elements of you.
Warmed by your sun. Cooled by your breeze. Sheltered and fed by your love.
Written By:
Larry D. Miller

Live Another Day

 

 

Depression

 

Narative: I keep hearing this song in my head titled “Keep Pushing On” but I feel as though I haven’t got the strength to do so. I’ve been keeping on for so long I now feel fearful that it’s all been in vain. My life is like that in comparison of running on a treadmill I can speed up or slow down my pace but still I feel like I’m on a road to nowhere.

What does the world want from me? This and others are the questions that dog my mind as of late. My days have gone dark. It does not matter how bright the sun has shown, in my world it’s a dark cloudy day. Is this depression? Is this my fate am I destined to be what I am, no greater than what I am?

Reflection is said to be a good thing. It is to give you perspective to see the light of things, clarity if you will. To gain a full perspective you must first take on the challenge to do so; that can be a slippery slope.

The trouble with trying to reflect when you are feeling depressed is you must retrace your steps to feel and fight your way through the darkness that now exist on your journeys path. That darkness consists of Negativity. Negativity is a powerful beast so by going into the darkness you risk the chance of never making it to the positivity of the light. I lift my head and recite what I remember from the pews of church as a child- “ Lord hear our prayers”

Here I am standing at what feels like the bank of the river’s edge ready to walk to the deep end of its depth. Will I be rescued by some form of revelation, perhaps a helping hand will be extended or will I drown in a whirlpool of disparity? I still don’t have all the answers but for now I will find the strength to push on and live another day.

Do you know someone who has or is currently battling depression?

Most people going through depression feel alone. They may feel embarrassed or as though they may be a burden to loved ones.

Try to be supportive. Let them know they are not alone. Once someone is willing to open up the most important thing you can do as a friend or family member is to listen.

Listening can be most helpful to that family member or friend in need.

Using reflective listening and encouraging words of support can let the person know you are being attentive to what’s being said. Example: It sounds like there has been some things going on that have you feeling pretty bad. Sorry you’ve been having such a tough time. I want you to know I’m here for you.

When you can show empathy for another’s plight it lets them know you have an understanding for what they are feeling. You don’t have to identify with it, but just simply making the effort to listen and be empathetic can be tremendous.

Take care of yourself as well for it may be emotionally draining for you as a friend to want to do all you can to help.

Remember not to put the pressure of their burden on your shoulders, you don’t have to find a way to fix their situation and most likely they don’t expect you to fix their problem. If they want to discuss options perhaps counseling is something they might consider exploring.

For help with depression or thoughts of suicide contact:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-Talk (8255) 24hrs http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

Written By: Larry D. Miller

 

The Phone Call

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The Phone Call

Hey bro you know who this is? Yeah man I know who you are. So hey haven’t heard from you in a while. what you up to?
All nothing man I’m just chilling. Enjoying life trying to not take it for granted.

That’s cool. I’m glad you are doing good.

What’s up with you?

You know same o same o just trying to get through each day.
I heard that man. Do what you got to do.
Er body good?
Yeah ev body- good.

How’s your fam? Man kids are all grown and living their lives. I even got a Couple of grankids too.

Wow, I can’t believe you a granpops.
Me either man.

Look here man. I called cause I was thinking about you lately and finally I said let me call this dude.

Yeah? It’s good to hear from you. For real.

What you doing tomorrow?

I really didn’t have any plans. Why, what’s up?

I wanted to hook up with you , maybe hang for while go eat somewhere watch the game, shoot some pool.

That sounds good man but you sure?

No doubt man . I’m looking forward to seeing you.
Okay cool. Let’s do it.
Okay I’ll swing by and get you bout 5 tomorrow.
I-ight see you then.

When the call ended the guy hearing from the long time friend sat there for a moment and began to cry.
He had been feeling like nobody cared. He looked down at the gun in his hand then got up and put it away. He was now looking forward to another day.

You never know what some else is going through.
Pick up the phone call a friend.

Written By: Larry D. Miller

A Cheaters Prayer

A Cheaters Prayer

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How could I have made such a stupid mistake. I cheated on you and by doing so risked everything that is important in my life. I know it sounds crazy, if I thought about the importance of our relationship I would not have done it.There is no excuse. I know this. As long as you are asleep during my mindful confession nothing has to change, well maybe except my behavior. I promise to spend the rest of my life putting you and our love first from here on out.   Just let this thing pass with no pain or suffering.

   download (6) Now as I lay me down to sleep beside you I pray the lord that this secret will keep; never to be revealed never to be spoken about from this day forth.  I love you. You have been five years of blessings. Happy Anniversary baby, Amen.

Written By:

              Larry D. Miller